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Oh spandex, dearest spandex the object of my hatred and gut-wrenching sickness of seeing you on health-conscious speed-walking 400 pound women Oh spandex, dearest spandex I fork over money on your blasphemous soul turn my hips into small countries. who needs a halloween mask when you've got blue the size of kenya? oh spandex, dearest spandex, grip the skin of ego-frantic men running past me in my blue nation with heart-rate monitors bobbing right below their god-forsaken man-boobs oh spandex, dearest spandex, a reason to hate rowing who cares about blisters and rising at 5:15 when I get mightmares knowing there are still spandex-pants in the world? Spandex sucks. the end |
